i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
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if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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