9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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