The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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