She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize