I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
