Can Purell be used as lube?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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