make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
