I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
