i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
