im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
