oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
