it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize