everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
