im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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