Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
