Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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