And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
