I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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