PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
