Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
