still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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