wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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