similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
