Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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