Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
