btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
