# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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