Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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