I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i love accidental penises.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
