Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
