he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
