Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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