I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
