Cold hands, warm shart.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
