She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
