Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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