He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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