Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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