Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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