I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
