last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
