I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
