They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
