This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
