He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
