I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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