Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
