it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
