It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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