Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Never underestimate the power of titties
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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