Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
