NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
