My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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