Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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