soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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