do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
