So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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