I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
