ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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